I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
