White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
