If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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