I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
