My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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