There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We don't watch enough power rangers
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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