i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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