just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
