you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
