He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
