Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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