he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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