I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
