Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she pinky promised me she was 18
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
