I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
