today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
we're so committed to being not committed
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
