her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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