i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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