okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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