the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
