All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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