I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I cut my penus on the lid.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
