I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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