I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
