My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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