You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
