We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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