living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
