Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
