Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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