Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
