I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
