remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
