So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You are a genius and a whore.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
