guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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