I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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