Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
no more duck duck goose at the bar
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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