his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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