If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
