He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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