he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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