D3 body, D1 cock
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
