Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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