Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
