Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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