new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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