How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
