Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
