the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
