Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
