I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
