I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
