Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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