did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
