Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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