is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
